race day! we started bright and early saturday morning, and everything seemed pretty par for the course. kudos and thanks to lonestar ruffnecks (the host club) for providing just delightful hospitality. the food table was fully stocked with coffee, breakfast goodies, fruit, and of course, mimosas. we could tell there were only 3 fur funnies present because we only went through 1 bottle of champagne (and yes, that’s pronounced sham-pag-knee).
we were running a division 1 team, but with a few modifications. no stetson, instead Badabing and Erin were in the start position, and since Leerie was judging, we had to find a handler for dexter. seriously, try not to laugh too hard. we somehow convinced linda may to take on this mighty task.
if you don’t know dexter, one of his nicknames is “hunnert mile an hour dexter” and it really suits him. the boy does everything at full speed and with 110% enthusiasm. he hasn’t even been racing for a year yet, but he knows what he’s doing and he knows to do it fast. of course our first race is against the #1 seed, top dog chain reaction. definitely the race for which you want your ducks in a row and your proverbial “shit together.” mmmm, yeaaaaah, that was not the case.
leerie gives linda a 5 minute rundown on running the blue bullet, and away we go. well, it turns out leerie give linda some bad advice. usually dexter passes into stetson. this weekend, passing into bing. stetson is a few tenths faster than bing, so an adjustment is required, right? say it with me kids, if the dog running ahead of you is SLOWER than what you’re used to, should you move UP or move BACK?
the correct answer of course is BACK. is that what leerie jenkins told linda? nope, he told her to move UP from where he usually stands. anyone surprised that poor linda had 3 early passes in the first race?
so, off to a rockin’ start. then the day picked up. our open team really clicked and was running beautifully. the regular team won all the rest of their races on saturday. we all wander around a do a little sightseeing at the giant dog show and oooo and ahhhh over all the cool vendors. then, the race of DOOM.
the open team line-up is tony, scandal, davis and ginny. ginny is one crazy fast nut of a golden, and it’s just best if she runs last, for lots of reasons. in this particular race, i had an early pass with scandal, and the other team also had a flag, so i say to myself, “ok, gonna get ready to re-run.” i wait for davis to run, and as ginny goes by, i line-up in the lane for my re-run. the rest, i remember in slow motion. i released scandal and started to run up towards the line behind her. i realize that ginny is coming STRAIGHT down the middle of the lane at me. i think, “no big, i have totally jumped dogs before in this same situation” and i attempt an evasive maneuver. only it didn’t quite work. as i’m going up, ginny’s head connected with my right kneecap, and i go up, UP and away, straight up in the air. eye witnesses say that it first looked like a swan dive, then it looked like a belly flop, as i hit the ground face first. all the air in my body went WHOOOSH and i couldn’t breathe while i tried to figure out if i’d broken anything. no matter how many times you get the wind knocked out of you, it’s scary and i felt pretty shaken up. poor ginny didn’t look so hot either. we somehow managed to finish the race and then limped back to our crating area to recuperate.
missy daily kindly came over and gave ginny a once over. she was doing some serious squinting with one eye, but other than that she seemed ok. she is definitely one hard-headed dog, i can tell you first hand. i proceeded to ice and elevate my knee and self-medicate with a few of linda’s excellent jello shots (vodka cran, rum and watermelon, and pina colada). each team raced one more time and we wrapped day one, packed up, and headed back to sam & terri’s house.
As we’re driving along I-10, heading away from houston, suddenly, from the back seat, penny screams “OH MY GOD, HE’S NAKED!!!” leerie, erin and i are are all “who, where, whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis?” Hand to god, there was a tattooed, naked man climbing over the concrete barriers and onto the highway! penny was definitely traumatized, and kept repeating “i saw IT, i saw IT!”. the things you see when you haven’t got your gun………..
Saturday night we were treated to some top notch mexican food. we definitely stuffed our faces, it was awesome. after a few years of just eating NC style mexican food, the real stuff tasted absolutely amazing. i took some massive quantities of ibuprofen and we bundled ourselves off to bed, anticipating sunday full of fun. little did we know what the fates had in store…………….
to be continued!